This post has been sitting as a draft in the form of notes on my phone for about a month. I feel like I haven’t sat down to take a breath in awhile. I haven’t blogged much. And I haven’t really shared my training as much I used to. But something I keep thinking about is how saying a simple ‘yes’ can change your life.
I have made new year goals to get better at saying ‘no’ in the past. And honestly this is something I still need to work on. While I have gotten better at saying no to things I know I don’t need to do, I have also learned over the course of this year how important it is to say yes, even when it scares you.
I have said ‘yes’ to two very big questions in the last few months.
“Will you marry me?”
“Will you move to Australia with me?”
I knew that first question would be asked at some point, but the second one? Yikes. This was new.
The first question was an easy yes. Kyle’s the best person I know and I have no doubt we will have a happy life together. The second question made me stumble.
He asked me to go on a run at 9 p.m. at night a few months ago (how I should have known something was up) and said, “Dale it’s real, they want me to go to Sydney.” And I instantly started crying. I know how great of an opportunity this is for him and for me too truly, but that doesn’t mean I’m not terrified. I have never lived outside of the United States. I have never even been to Australia. But I knew that if there was ever a time to take this adventure, it’s now. And there’s no one else I’d rather do this with. I calmed down night of and asked to think about it. And I was told I had about 24 hours to make a decision. Talk about pressure. It’s like “Hey do you want to totally uproot your life, quit a job you love, and move across the world? Great let us know tomorrow.”
I was emotional to say the least. But in the end it wasn’t really a question. I wanted Kyle to go. And I wanted to go with him. So, I said yes. I said yes to him the next day after work and cried again, but it also felt like the butterflies in the stomach first day of the rest of your life kind of thing.
I stand by the ‘yes’ but I also realized I couldn’t up and leave my job in June. I care about what I do and my relationships and I never want to be seen as a person who bails on things. So, what did this mean? I decided the most logical thing for me to do was work through the summer/busy season up through the Chicago Marathon. Kyle is always supportive of me, so even though this logical decision meant four and a half months of long distance, he said it was a good idea. So that was the plan.
He moved on June 21st. I haven’t cried as much as I did that day in a very long time. It made me realize how truly happy I have been the past year, but also scared me for having to take on the looming months alone. Kyle makes everything fun. Like, everything. Washing the dishes, doing laundry, dealing with screaming neighbors, etc. I’m not exaggerating when I say we have fun every day. We have lived together for over three years and now all of the sudden we don’t. We used to see each other every night. Now we don’t. The time change is tough (15 hours!). So I usually leave work as he wakes up (a day ahead). And say goodnight as he goes to get lunch. It’s weird. And it has been difficult to actually find quality time. But we’re making it work. Because we have to. I won’t tell you long distance is easy or fun. But I know it will be worth it.
I still stand by the yes. We’re 6 weeks down now, 11 weeks to go. I’m lucky to still be home with all my amazing people. I’d probably be lost without them, but I’m also learning how tough I am. I still have my worries of being so far from my friends and family once I move. I see them all so often now that it scares me to think of how long I’ll have to go without. But I know all my real relationships will last. And I’m soaking up the time now. I’ll make it work.
Another reason I’m glad I said yes to this distance challenge: I’m spending more time alone and learning more about myself. It is kind of cool. I don’t mind a lot of solo time.
But ultimately I’m putting up with the distance because it means yes to an incredible adventure. And I know the adventure will be worth it. I truly never thought I would be saying “yes I’m moving to Australia in October.” But it’s the truth.
I said yes to possibility. I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what I’ll do to make money. I don’t know what life will look like. And for the planner in me, this is so hard. We’re in that transition time right now and I feel like I don’t have any control. But I am still excited about the yes.
So even with the unknown and the fear I am glad I took the leap. And I want to tell you that you should too. If there’s something you have been afraid to try, why wait? If you’re avoiding doing something because it’s scary, try to say yes to the potential instead. I know how unnerving it can be to say yes to something uncomfortable. But I also know it can be great.
I can’t talk about the outcome yet, but I’ve had time to sit with this big ‘yes’ for a bit and I feel good about it (even on the days I don’t).
So, I’m encouraging you to say your ‘yes’ too. And if you want someone to vent to about it – send me a message.
I’m ready for the adventure, wherever it takes me. I’m glad I said yes.